Finding something lost
by Zanarkand Kido
Summary: At first it seemed like a normal case for the detective and author team of the 12th precinct. A murder, a suspect and some leads to follow but something was different for Detective Kate Beckett. She didn't know what it was but she had an inkling that it had to do with her past and something that was lost to her.


**Disclaimer: The characters of this story do not belong to me. I only own the idea and OC used in this story. This disclaimer is meant for the whole story. (Just in case that I forget to write it down again.)**

**Author's Note: Hello my dear readers. This is my first story I'm publishing on this site. Maybe you can or cannot tell but english is not my first language. So, if I make any spelling or grammer mistakes please tell me, so that I can correct them and hopefully not make the same mistake again. As I said, this is my first story so I would like to read your comments and criticism. Please tell me what you like and where I can do better, no matter if it is just a word or something else. Every constructive review is needed. **

**"But please refrain from reviews a la 'your story sucks' (nicely said).**

**"And now to something completly different.**

**"Enjoy**

**"Summary: At first it seemed like a normal case for the detective and author team of the 12th precinct. A murder, a suspect and some leads to follow but something was different for Detective Kate Beckett. She didn't know what it was but she had an inkling that it had to do with her past and something that was lost to her. **

**Finding something lost.**

Chapter 1 : A murder and a runaway suspect.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Esposito asked Ryan while they were getting out of their car onto the busy streets of New York. It was just past midday and the sun burned down on them during this hotter than usual late June day. Ryan sighed and started walking towards a house where an older man was waiting in the doorway. "It's because we were the closest when the call from HQ came. And you must be Mr. Stevens. You said there were shots?" The last part of the question Ryan directed to the old man while Esposito stood just a step behind him. Mr. Stevens just nodded with a grim look on his face. "Yes, I did. There were two shots down the hallway of the floor I live and the only apartment there that is occupied is that of Roger Wedson. Number 48 by the way. I called the police right away. And here you are. You are cops, aren't you?" Esposito held his badge up and said:" Yes, we are. We were the closest when your call came in." The old man looked relieved and his grim expression softened somewhat. He moved aside to let the two detectives in.

Esposito and Ryan went into the house and headed up the stairs, following after Mr. Stevens who lead them four stories up and gestured down the hallway they arrived in. The two detectives nodded at each other, agreeing to proceed. When they arrived at the last door of the hallway, a wooden and white painted one, proclaiming in a worn bronze the number 48, they noticed that the door was slightly ajar. Cautiously Ryan opened the door and entered slowly the apartment with Esposito following closely behind him. Both had their weapons drawn, after all, they couldn't know what was waiting for them. Going through a small entrance area, they walked through an open door into what seemed to be the living room. There they saw a man lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Two gun wounds in his chest and eyes wide open in apparent horror. When Ryans eyes met the ones of the dead man, he averted them quickly. While he had no problem with dead bodies in general, the look that was captured in those dead glassy eyes always made his stomach churn. Esposito stood in the open doorway and scanned the room if something was unusual. Other than the open window which led to the fire escape and from where a soft wind came into the room. He had his gun in front of him and moved slightly to the left.

"Suddenly the door slammed against him and a shot was fired from his gun an into the door. Ryan jerked around, alarmed by the sound of the fired of Esposito, he saw a young man, still in his teens with brown hair but before he could get a better picture, the teen turned around and stormed toward the open window. The young man shoved Ryan away on his way towards the window and Ryan landed hard on the floor on the edge of the pool of blood. Esposito was the first who regained composure and rushed to the window where the teen was already through. He looked out of the window and down the fire escape. At first, he couldn't see him and wondered if he was already on the street. Then he heard something from above and looked up. Instead of going down, he went up. "He's going up, Ryan!" Esposito shouted to Ryan who stood behind him and climbed through the window to follow the teen up the fire escape. The two detectives rushed up the fire escape, always having an eye on the teen who was much faster than the two. "How is he so fast? He is almost on the roof already" Ryan panted. No answer came but Ryan noticed that Esposito sped up his climbing, trying to get to the roof faster. Not want to be left behind he matched his speed and after a minute they reached the roof. Panting they looked around to find the teen.  
There he stood, standing sideways to them. He wore blue jeans, red sneakers, and a black sweatshirt and had drawn its hood up so they couldn't see his face.  
Before they could say anything, he started to run towards the edge of the roof.  
Shocked by this action, Esposito and Ryan just stood there watching him running but when he came close to the end of the roof Esposito cried out:" Stop!" It didn't seem as if the teen heard him or maybe he was just ignored.  
Closer and closer came the edge but the teen didn't show any hesitation and even sped up a bit more. Finally, Ryan and Esposito started running after him but before they came even close, the teen reached the end of the roof and jumped.  
As if time was suddenly in slow motion, the two detectives watched him flying through the air. It was at least six meters to the next building, perhaps even more and the teen just jumped as if that was something he did every other day. One moment it looked like he wouldn't make it but then he landed on the other roof. The second his feet touched the ground, he used his momentum to roll forward to avoid injury. He got back on his feet and continued to run away without taking even one look back at the two detectives that stared unbelievingly after him.  
Ryan looked at his partner and asked:" Did you see that?" It took a few seconds before Esposito registered the question and answered with a raised eyebrow:" I did but that doesn't mean I believe it. No way was he human. Part monkey I say, part monkey!"  
Only the lightly blowing wind was heard while the two detectives still stared at the other roof still not really believing what they had seen.

"There's still a body downstairs," said Ryan after a minute or two, he wasn't really sure.

"Yeah" was the only thing Esposito said.

"That means we have to tell Beckett."

"Yeah."

"That means Castle will know too."

"... shit."

"You mean to tell me you lost a suspect because he jumped on the roof of the neighboring building? And you just stood there?" Beckett asked with a raised eyebrow. She could not really believe the story that the two detectives told her a moment ago. After all, someone jumping from roof to roof wasn't something that you heard every day. Castle stood close behind her, a fist raised before his mouth trying to hide a grin but Ryan could still hear him snicker. "I tell you, Beckett, that guy is part monkey. Nobody could have climbed the fire escape that fast" Esposito said exasperatedly. With a roll of her eyes, Beckett changed her attention from Esposito to the rest of the room.

"The crime scene was bustling with investigators searching for even the slightest clue that could lead them to the perpetrator. They had already finished with the bedroom and were close to finishing with the living room. Leni kneed next to the body and seemed as if she was finished with her first examination as well. Her right hand holding a pen flew over the clipboard in her other hand, filling out information about the body on her standard forms and taking notes on another page. Beckett's gaze flew over the room, taking everything in at once. Nothing that she didn't expect met her eyes until she saw the bullet hole in the door. In the exact moment she saw the hole, she knew that something wrong with it. First, the position of the body indicated that the perpetrator stood before him and that was sideways to the door. Secondly, the hole was much too low on the door. Even if the perp shot through the door, why should he shoot at knee height?

She turned around to ask her team when she noticed the guilty look on Espo's face. "Something you want to add Esposito?" Beckett asked with an edge to her voice. If that what she suspected really happened then there would be a lot of paperwork. At least, it would be his paperwork, not hers. Instead of Esposito Ryan answered her question. "Well, the suspect hid behind the door. When he rushed to the window, he hit it into Espo and a shot loosed itself from his weapon." "My finger was around the trigger. I guess I tightened my hand when the door hit me. Don't worry I will write a report by tomorrow," continued Esposito. "Alright, at least nobody was hurt." Not a moment after Beckett said this, one of the crime scene investigators, Sarah was her name Beckett remembered, came close and objected her. "I wouldn't say that detective. We found blood on the window board that seems like it doesn't belong to the victim. It looks like it's fresher than the victim's blood. That and those spots" Sarah pointed on the floor close to the door where they could see some blood and the hole where the bullet from Esposito weapon probably went in " indicate that someone was hit by your shot. Most likely your runaway suspect. But it seems like it just grazed him, not enough blood for more." "Thank you, Sarah. Is it enough for a DNA test?" "Yes, detective. We've already taken some and marked it for the lab." With nothing more to say Sarah turned around to continue her work.

A grim expression was on Esposito's face when Beckett turned her attention to him. She suspected it was because the stray bullet hit the suspect unintentionally. In the line of duty as a police officer, there were situations where you had to fire your weapon but in those, you made the choice to fire your gun. You knew what will happen afterward. Firing your gun by accident was something every cop detested. It made you look like you had no control over your weapon and as if you were a rookie fresh out of the academy. But accidents happened and it happened to almost every other cop she knew. The bad thing was that it hit the suspect, even if it just grazed him because hurting someone by accident was not something any cop wanted. "It's ok Espo. You heard her, the bullet just grazed him. Nothing serious. And now we might have a lead on him" Beckett said soothingly. Esposito gave her a small crooked smile. "Yeah, you're right. Nothing serious." He shook his head and was back to professional.

Castle, who was surprisingly quiet during this whole exchange, took out a small notepad and said with an amazed expression: "Your bullet hit him, probably in the leg and he still managed to escape you and jump over six meters to another roof?! I will definitely use this in my next book." and began scribbling away. Ryan and Esposito exchanged glances, digesting this new information before hanging their heads down. Beckett could just shake her head at the scene before. Hopefully, Lani could tell her something useful, so she made her way to her, Castle following her closely.

"What do you got?" Without turning away from the body Lany answered:" Two shots into the chest. One hit the heart. He was dead immediately." Her answers were short and came to the point like always when she examined a body. Lani looked at Beckett and Castle and added: "The time of death checks with the time we were called. I can't say more right now. After I examined the body more thoroughly in the morgue I'll send for you, honey." With that Lani stood up and went to talk to one of the officers standing outside the apartment to organize the transport of the body.

"Well, nothing that could lead us to the perp," said Castle. Beckett sighed: "Yes, I believe we will find nothing of significance here anymore. I tell Esposito and Ryan to question the neighbors while we get back to the precinct." "Sorry, but I will be going home. I promised Alexis to be home tonight and make dinner. Besides after hearing the boys story I have a scene in my head that I just need to write down. See you tomorrow." Not a second later was Castle out of the apartment and left Beckett alone standing among the forensic investigators. She sighed again. It was at least the sixth time in the last two hours that she sighed without a reason. 'Something is wrong with me today' she thought. The whole day was tiring for her and she had no idea why. She woke up this morning and was already in a bad mood. Lifting her left arm to check the time on her wristwatch, her gaze wandered to the date displayed directly under the time. Her eyes widened a bit before a sad smile settled on her face. 'So that's why' Beckett mused, 'tomorrow is that day'. Somehow her subconscious had already known what day tomorrow was and influenced her temper today. She knew that Ryan and Esposito would leave her mostly alone tomorrow and just come to her if they had a lead but Castle would be a problem. He had no idea what that day meant to her and would be his usual annoying self. Castle had already found out about the death of her mother so she made herself no illusions about keeping this secret. The only thing she hoped he would leave her alone tomorrow but even as she thought about it she dismissed it instantly. After all, it was Castle.

She sighed once again.

Tomorrow would be a strenuous day.

"I'm home!" Castle exclaimed as he closed the door to his loft. Soft footsteps could be heard coming down from the top of the stairs. "Hey, dad," Alexis said as she continued down the stairs. She hugged her father briefly before she continued towards the kitchen. "I took out the ingredients but nothing more yet so we can start right away." Castle smiled as he heard that his daughter had already prepared everything but waited for him to start the actual cooking. She seemed to be really looking forward to this. It was something he could understand. The last few days, they had not many chances to come together and eat in peace. Their last few evenings were completely full. Late nights at the precinct, meetings with his publisher and school club meetings were the reasons why they had not seen each other much in the last days.

"So," Alexis started the conversation " did anything interesting happen today? And before you ask. Grandma called and said she would be here in time for dinner." Castle took a knife and started to dice the onions. A playful smile stole itself on his face. "Oh yeah. Esposito and Ryan lost a suspect."

Her head leaned a bit to her left as Alexis asked: "How can someone lose a suspect. Did he run away?" "Yep", Castle answered popping the 'p'. "He was at the scene when they arrived there. He rushed by Ryan out the window and up the fire escape. They couldn't even get a good look at him." "Up? Don't you mean down?" "No, up." Surprised Alexis looked up from the tomatoes she was slicing and saw the grin on her father's face. There was more and she was dying to hear it. With a look, she urged her father to continue and he complied happily. "The suspect, no older than twenty from what the boys could see, ran up the fire escape. Esposito and Ryan are of course after him but cannot get close, he's just too fast for them. When they arrive on the roof, they think they have him, no other way down than the one they just came up. But then it happened. The suspect began to run." "To run? Alexis asked captivated by her father's retelling. "Yes, run. Running towards the edge of the roof. The other roof more than six meters away but the man doesn't care, he continues to run. Everyone else would be scared of the height and to fall towards safe death but not him. He gets even faster. And then he gets to the end of the roof and jumps." Castle stopped briefly for a dramatic pause. A small smirk played on his face as he saw how his daughter hanged at his lips. Even if he never would admit, he knew he had his talent for storytelling and dramatics from his mother. "His jump carries him over the abyss between the buildings. Nothing to save him if he cannot make it. For a moment he's completely weightless as the wind flows around him. Ryan and Espo can only watch in amazement and horror in equal measure. But nothing happens, he lands safely on the other side and without even a glance back he hurries on. Disappearing and the boys cannot do anything to stop him." Castle ended his retelling and Alexis could not help the smile that came to her lips. The smile still on her face she asked:" And that really happened? Wow." "Wow indeed. You should have seen their faces as they told me. I think they still can't believe it." A comfortable silence settled between the father-daughter-duo as they continued to cook. "Do you believe you will find him?" asked Alexis as she put the meat on the sizzling pan. Castle put the knife away that he just had cleaned and answered: "I believe so. If he has something to do with the case and wasn't just there by accident then we will find him. And we got a lead on him anyway. Tomorrow we will know more. But enough of that. How was your day?"

"The rest of their evening went on relaxing and careless. Just like any other day in the Castle household. Both not knowing that the next days would be quite turbulent.

The next day, close to 10 o'clock, Castle came out of the elevator into the bullpen of the 12th precinct homicide division. Two coffees in his hands he made his way to Beckett's desk. He could see her sitting there, head down, seemingly studying some file. As he came closer he noticed that Esposito and Ryan kept their distance to her, more than usual, even if she was in a bad mood they were hovering somewhere close to her but today? Today they kept a distance that seemed to be somewhat respectful. Esposito threw Castle a look, that he couldn't really identify. It was a mix of pity and warning. But a warning for what? Finally, he arrived at her desk and put one of the coffees he had in front of her and startled her. Unusual, normally she knew he was here before he even came close. Her gaze was on him and he could see something in her eyes that he had not seen since she had talked about her mother. Sorrow. Sorrow, loss, and hurt that went deep. It took a few seconds before Beckett found her composure. She closed the file before her and took the coffee. A nod towards Castle was everything he got before she stood up, excused herself and went to the break room. Castle just watched as she walked away. His gaze went to the file on her desk but before he could take it a hand slammed on the file and Castle looked up to see Esposito who wore a look of warning. "Before you take a look at this file you have to know," said Esposito with complete seriousness. "If you open it, this could become a repeat of when you made inquiries of her mother's death." "What is it about?" Esposito looked towards the breakroom where he could see Beckett through a window. With a thoughtful look on her face, a hint of sorrow mixed in it, she starred into the air, absentmindedly sipping on her coffee. He turned back to Castle and signaled him to follow which he did without question. Ryan joined them on their way to an unused room. When they closed the door, the two detectives turned to Castle and thought about how they could start. "So..." Castle began "What is this about?" "It's about Beckett. Today is the day someone important to her disappeared. Every year she reads the file again and again. Hoping that some information was added or that she notices something new but she never does" Esposito said with a grim expression. "Who," whispered Castle. He knew about the death of her mother, the alcoholism of her father but that, that was something new. Another facet to Detective Beckett's past that was already so full of pain. Ryan was the one who answered him: "Her little brother." Just three words but they had a profound impact on Castle that he had to sit down. He looked up to Esposito who still wore his grim expression and asked: "What can you tell me?" The two detectives shared a short look and both sighed at the same time. Espo drew a chair close and sat down as well while Ryan leaned at the table. "Six years ago her brother disappeared from his school, a boarding school. No evidence for any criminal involvement. The responsible detectives marked the case as a runaway. When Beckett made some personal inquiries she found out, that he was bullied the whole time he was there. It was a high-class boarding school and he came from a not so well off background. You should have an idea how the other kids reacted to that." Yes, he had an idea. He remembered the case at the beginning of his partnership with Beckett. Not something he would like his daughter to go through and he hoped she would never have to. Ryan continued for his partner. "Beckett was at the time pretty busy with her duties as a fresh detective and their father was deep into alcoholism. He was apparently pretty lonely and to that, the constant bullying drove him to run away. they never found any lead." Castle shook his head in disbelieve. He could understand why Beckett never told him before. She had already lost her mother and when she had become a cop to prevent others to feel the same she had, she lost her brother. Even as a cop she couldn't prevent the disappearance of her brother. That had to hit her hard. He almost missed it when Ryan said: "Right now he should be if he's still alive, a little bit older than Alexis." That sent his head spinning again. Not much older than his own daughter. That means Beckett's brother would have been around eleven when he ran away. Much too young. "Can we do anything?" he asked. Esposito shook his head no. "The only we can do is offer support and do our job. We work on this case and give Beckett room. So come on, we should get going."

They left the room and saw that Beckett was back at her desk and was watching them. As they came close she asked: "You told him?" Her answer was a silent nod from Esposito and Ryan and she sighed. "Please let it be Castle. Today is not a good day." A small "ok" was everything that Castle said. He could understand if she didn't want to talk about it, especially today. "So what do we have?" Beckett steered their attention on the case they had at hand. Ryan cleared his throat and began: "Rodger Wedson, 35 years old. Two prison sentence for theft and fencing but no offenses in the last two years. His neighbors describe him as quiet and respectful, nothing conspicuous." Esposito took a file of his desk and opened it. "His credit card deduction is nothing unusual as well. Just two points are remarkable. He rented a post office box at so-called 'Dameskis Courier Service' belonging to one Navir Dameski. The other is that he ate every three days at a dinner close to the Courier Service in the last two weeks. Right now we got nothing more." Beckett nodded along as Esposito talked, a plan of action already forming in her mind. "Ok," she said, "Castle and I will go to the dinner and try to get some information on the victim while you talk to Mr. Dameski about that post office box." She clapped her hands to hype herself up, she certainly needed it today. "Let's go Castle." Castle following her closely as she made her way towards the elevator.

"Thank you for your cooperation, please call us if remember something", Beckett said and she and Castle left the dinner. "Well," Castle sighed, "that is a dead end." They had just finished questioning the waitress and found nothing that could lead them to the murderer of Roger Wedson. He just came to the dinner to flirt with the blonde waitress they had just talked to. No useful came from her because while she was flattered of his advances she had a boyfriend and didn't respond to them.

Castle lifted a hand to block the sun from getting in his eyes until they were used to the brightness outside the dinner. Meanwhile, Beckett was already halfway to her car before she stopped and turned to Castle. She bit on her underlip, thinking about what to say. Finally, she came to a decision. "Castle" she tried to get his attention. He turned to her, his hand still lifted to his head. "Thank you." "For what?" "For not asking." Now he understood.  
"Yeah, when the boys told me what today meant to you,..." he paused, looking for the right words. "I already messed up once. I don't want to pry into this if you're uncomfortable with it. Especially today. When, no, if you want to talk you know where to find a listener." Beckett shot him a grateful smile but Castle could see some of her sorrow mixed in it. "Thanks. I appreciate it. It is just that..." Before she could continue, her phone rang and she pulled it out. The display identified the caller as Ryan and she answered the call. "Beckett." "Beckett, the suspect from the scene is here and tries to run again." Ryan's voice came out her speaker loud enough that Castle could hear him standing close to Beckett. "Espo and I are following him. He runs in your direction. Down Casely Street." With that, the call ended and Beckett just had to glance at Castle before they rushed to the car.

This time their suspect would not get away.

**Well I hope you liked it and I got the characters right**

**See you soon**

**Zanarkand Kido**


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